Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction. James 1:27
Ryan and I have been talking about adoption and foster parenting for years – before we were even married! Now, we have a house with an extra bedroom, family just minutes away, and a wonderful church family close by, and the longing to be parents…we are ready. We often talk about being parents, and all of the things we want to share with our children.
Adoption is such a beautiful picture of our relationship with God – how he has adopted us as his children into his kingdom. We have always wanted to adopt – but the challenges of time and money seemed impossible. Then, we learned about foster adoption…
There are thousands of children every year that need a foster home, often because their parents are unwilling or unable to care for them. There may be a newborn baby whose mother uses drugs or is in a violent relationship, and this baby needs a loving home. There may be school-age children who are removed from a dangerous home, and they need a family and a home.
Foster children need someone to love them and be their mommy or daddy, whether it is for a short time, or forever. That is so difficult – how can you love a child, become attached and be their parent, not knowing how long they will be in your home? The answer is that you get attached, you love them as much as you possibly can, for as much time as God gives them to you.
There is an incredible article in Adoptive Families magazine by Rosemary Shulman, a mother who found her son through foster-adoption after caring for several infants in temporary situations. She was willing to risk the emotional difficulties of fostering, and experienced an incredible journey that brought her and her son together.
It is difficult to find information about foster-adoptions and just how big of a need that it is. This blog may turn into “becoming a fostermom” for a while…but it will be an amazing journey.
6 Responses to “Becoming a Foster Parent”
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September 27th, 2006 at 11:11 AM I think it definitely takes special people to be foster parents! It really is a gift. Our 2 girls are adopted and we do hope to adopt again one day, but I know that right now I could not foster parent. Of course, I didn't have the desire to adopt until God gave it to me... but I know that I personally couldn't handle the loss if the child couldn't stay with us. I do know there is such a need for that and maybe one day God will change our desires and change me, but for now I am thankful for those who are willing to do that and to whom God gives that special ability and gift!! Adoption is an amazing journey! Just today - like most days - I was looking at my girls and thinking of God's goodness!
September 27th, 2006 at 11:55 AM DeAnna, Thanks so much for your comments about adoption and the NICU. It's so encouraging! I went to your blog, and I just loved looking at the pictures of your girls. They are so beautiful, and you can really see their joy and personality through the pictures you take. Blessings to your family!
October 9th, 2006 at 02:51 AM We are also getting ready to start fostering. I wanted to add to the comment about how do love foster children. I think you are right that you love them as much as you can for as long as you have them. But, I also think you love them w/the knowledge that they are someone else's child. And you are potentially giving that parent the opportunity to get on their feet. It's something I've been thinking about lately. I am planning on starting a series of posts on fostering on my blog. There is such a great need. Thank you for being willing to love these kids!
October 11th, 2006 at 02:04 PM Lee Ann, Thanks so much for that comment - I didn't realize how important it is to realize that we are caring for someone else's child, and also serving that family. Last week we had some foster parenting classes, and we learned how this is very different from parenting biological children, because you have to learn how to "team parent." We will not be the only people responsible for these children, so we have to realize what our part is, but also love them as if they were our own!
October 12th, 2006 at 10:19 AM So true. I've heard, but still haven't researched to confirm, that in England the foster parents not only keep the kids, but meet w/the parents weekly and do their "parenting skills classes". I think that is an amazing approach. Although, I would feel intimidated and not sure I would be ready for that. I'm very interested in the English model, and curious to find out if it's successful. When I finally look it up, I'll post back here and let you know what I find out.
June 26th, 2007 at 03:32 PM
Lucky! I don’t even know how to start to talk about parenting with my boyfriend… he’s like a little child (he’s 33 y.o.), I think he’ll be scared like never before. And will ask with wide open eyes: “God, are you pregnent?!” :(